Abe must write because, by doing so, he is able to play god and all the morons receive just retribution.
And because everybody lives up to his (high) expectations and if they do not, they dieeeeeeee.
Conclusively, this will make for a better world.

Thursday, 4 October 2012

My First Time

Over the last few years, I've amassed some pieces of writing that have just remained on my mac, hidden from the world for various reasons, such as having nowhere to post them.

From time to time, I'm going to post some of them. I can't guarantee the standard matches up to my work today but at one stage I was proud of them and, because of this, will run the risk of not rereading them before posting to avoid the inevitability of meticulously editing...

What I will say of this piece is that, two years on, it still remains one of my proudest pieces of writing. Hope you enjoy it.

My First Time 

Recently I was asked about my first time. After spending quite a while to think about this, trying to rumble my thoughts to think about this…I realised that if I’m being honest, I could never forget my first time. Sharing my experience with the world is only right. For privacy purposes, she will remain anonymous.

The relationship that I’m about to divulge on isn’t the regular kind in the sense of the way we got it on. A friend who had been previously fucking with her had introduced me to her. Don’t judge me, he told me she was the shit. I’m a fiend for the finer things so it was only right that I got a slice of the pie. I could tell from the get-go that she was special; the fellas in the neighbourhood had described her as enough to get ‘em high.

So it was she and myself in my bedroom and she just started to do her thing. She even had the nerve to say these two words: ‘screw me’, as if I was contemplating doing anything else. The way she started it up was nuts, all I could do was breathe in, breathe out. I hadn’t even given her permission to takeover me like this but she had already infiltrated my thoughts, my movement; it felt almost as if we’d been familiar for forever and a lifetime. The thing I loved about her, in fact love about her, is the intelligence she holds, a prowess so evident in her spoken word. I have no reason to hesitate when I state my assurance of how much this paid a large contribution as to why we related physically and mentally.

After this first time, she knew she was already my addiction and never let me down. I’d come home from school and she’d just be there in my bedroom waiting for me ready to let me get real deep in her and I’d just drop my bag on the floor, along with my school spirit and get things moving. I was still living in my mother’s house and when things would get wild, my mother would shout at us to keep the noise down but we don’t care, we just carried on doing our thing, too deep in ecstasy to think about my family business.

When she would touch me, I could feel more than just the touches. I felt as if I could understand every single layer of her, everything from her deepest secrets to painful experiences of her life right down to the heartbeat. She spoke in rhyme all the time like a Shakespearean play, she could do it all day and I’m not talking about just rhyming there. It wasn’t always fun and games, we went through the best of days where nobody on the planet meant as much to me as she did and the days of rain when I started to wonder if she could still balance on the heightened pedestal I had given her, such is the competitive nature of the world. But one thing about her that no other could ever replicate was her willingness to go through the wire; she was prepared to risk everything just to be with me, for our relationship to continue.

I used to dread the day that it would all fall down, they say nothing lasts forever but she is different. Our first time feels like our last time, there’s never a lack of stimulation with her; she knows the right slow jamz to drop to make me do our thing. Our last call, last night, feels like every call, just right. I know everything she’s going to say; I can finish her sentences for her. The bond we have is like no other and no matter how she may change as the years go by, I know her core will always remain the same and she’ll still be that bad-ass bitch.

This that I present to you is none other than my first time. A time which has affected the way I’ve lived my life ever since. A time that affects the way I start my day, finish my day, feel about my day. A time that is already down as a highlight in my life… my first time with hip-hop.

Currently listening to: Kanye West - Slow Jamz feat. Jamie Foxx & Twista

P.S. Hope you picked up all the references, I counted at least eleven when I skimmed through...

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