Six Years, One Degree, Worthwhile.

It’s Thursday 20^th August 2009. I think it’s 06.00. Maybe it’s 06.30. I want to say it’s dark, but perhaps my curtains were closed, it is a late summer morning after all. Whichever it is, I’m awake for the same reason as thousands of other eighteen (or thereabout) year-olds in England. It is A-Levels results day. I’m awake in my mum’s house or, back then, home. I’ve long-decided that I’ll be logging into UCAS on results day morning, rather than waiting until 10 or 11am to go into school and receive my results. Though UCAS will not display results, it can tell me one of three things:

A)    Unconditional offer at my first choice university

B)   Unconditional offer at my second choice university

C)    Clearing

I am expecting a confirmation of option A, and that I’ll be going to Queen Mary University of London to study Law, straight As the requirement. At worst, I expect option B, to study the same course at Kent with a requirement of ABB. I log in to UCAS. It is incredibly slow, but I’ve been warned it will by those who have gone before me. One of the thousands attempting to access a system that is probably poorly equipped to deal with this once-a-year surge of users attempting to access their servers all at the same time.

I’m in. The page has loaded. The status of my university application has changed. Clearing.

I Quit My Job.

I haven't written a blog post in what is coming up to six months and, for that, I can only apologise to anybody who cares. I could give a whole host of reasons as to why I haven't - an integral one being that there was little I wanted to passionately write about, blog-wise. I do write daily, working on my scripts where my true passion lies. I also came to a point, in light of my struggles with balance that I had to weigh up my priorities. Again, working on scripts was victorious.

Even writing this blog has been something I've put off. I feel like it could help someone, encourage someone, potentially inspire. But similarly, there is absolutely no reason for anybody to care. I think that's something that's played a part in my lack of blogging. In the social media age, there are so many people sharing opinions that nobody could care any less about. What makes me any different? The reason I write - and why I choose to primarily write screenplays/stageplays - is because I am not at the forefront. I speak vicariously through my characters. I am not held accountable. And, frequently, many of my characters views are not my own but, instead, varying perspectives to be considered, as opposed to be boldly imposed upon an audience. Even as I write right now, I'm questioning my angle, what I'm trying to achieve, what I'm trying to tell. I guess this answers the question as to why I write anything, that burning desire within to tell a story that I feel so passionate about that I won't be satisfied until it is written.

So here it goes, on July 10 2014, I finally left my part-time retail job of nineteen months.

My Own Advice

This morning I dreamt that someone who I care very deeply about passed away. In the last couple years I've had dreams where my emotions in the dream are affected by my conscious; knowing how reality might affect the dream, or the dream affect reality. To contextualise this, my last conversation with the person who passed was a few months ago and didn't end well.

It was a tricky one because I didn't feel and still do not feel that it's my fault but that's neither here nor there. I actually don't care about that anymore but it was an important point to bring up for what's to follow.