Abe must write because, by doing so, he is able to play god and all the morons receive just retribution.
And because everybody lives up to his (high) expectations and if they do not, they dieeeeeeee.
Conclusively, this will make for a better world.

Wednesday, 24 April 2013

Seven Things I Learnt in Seville

Last week I spent three and a bit wonderful days in the beautiful Spanish city of Seville. Like all holidays that I go on with the lads, it was of course spent visiting museums, admiring architecture and taking tour buses. I jest. We did do some of those things. Promise.

In brainstorming the seven things that I'd share I learnt, I initially had a list full of alcohol-related learnings. But hey, I'm more cultured than that and I don't just galavant to foreign countries to indulge in mass alcohol consumption(!) 

So, without further adieu, the seven things I learnt in Seville.

1) 'Hola Guapa' is the Spanish equivalent of 'Yo my size'
Despite being a lot more endearing than the Kidulthood-famed term, after saying it a 100 times it does lose it's novelty. Once the women realise your Spanish is limited, it just gets classed as a cringe pick-up line. Nonetheless... hola guapa!!

2) The Spanish stunt. Hard.
This beautiful building here is called Plaza de España. My friend Femi who has been living/working in Seville for the last couple months let us know the history behind this building; it was built solely for the purpose of showing of their wealth during a period when they were really rich. Nothing happens there. 
And they wonder why they're in a recession.

3) Vending machines full of sex toys in the middle of the street is acceptable.
Nothing more needs to be said on this other than see here.

4) When beer is cheaper than water...
Combined with heat, the way your friends will decide to rehydrate themselves will be alcohol. Even if that doesn't make scientific sense. 40 cents a pop for a glass of beer, I'm sure that doesn't even make economical sense!!

5) A grand building of wood can survive the elements.
This sensational piece of architecture here is the Metropol Parosol, known as 'The Mushroom' in English is made entirely of wood. I didn't believe when I was told this so had to find out myself by dangerously (but successfully) attempting to touch the structure. Amazing building with a beautiful view at the top and only cost 2€ to go to the top of it (take that Eiffel Tower!). It also has a bar on the top with the second best mojitos I've had in my life (the best were made by a friend we made in Madrid a couple years back called Carlos).

6) La Feria is incredible.
Our main reason for choosing the week that we went to Seville was that it was Feria week; a week of partying 24/7 and that is no exaggeration. A gigantic strip which takes three months to prepare and three months to take down is buzzing from Sunday to Sunday. Nobody goes to work, shops are closed (again, they wonder why they're in a recession?!). A couple pictures here and here for you to get a taste.

7) Booking a morning flight is never a good idea.
My friend who lives in Dubai booked a flight for the evening whilst we had to leave an hour or so after returning from a night out. Lesson learnt.

Honorary unmentioned learnings
- My Spanish is good, and sensational whilst intoxicated.
- Packing footwear that you don't even wear back home is a bad idea.
- Pre-drinking 'til around midnight is the norm.
- Instructing everybody that they must drink every time 'turn up' is shouted makes for very messy nights with no guarantees of memories.

Last but not least, culturally, Seville made me very happy for a number of reasons. But, above all, the idea of a festival taking place for a week and the whole city practically at a stand-still for the sake of joy and celebration reminds me that life well and truly is about being happy, inner piece, serenity etc. The hippies had it absolutely right.

Let's all be hippies.

What have you learnt on your travels?

P.S. If you'd like to see some more awesome photography from our trip to Seville from the forever dope @geekysneaks, check out his tumblr here. And for even more of his dope photography which is definitely worth your time, check out his website here.

Currently listening to (the holiday soundtrack): Kendrick Lamar - Swimming Pools

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